Its Always Darkest Before Dawn…

The longest night…

Yule is upon us again, where has this year gone?

This is an interesting time. We have just gone into Mercury retro again but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – especially in combination with the winter solstice for those of us in the Northern hemisphere. We are encouraged to go within, to be The Hermit and seek our own answers, to poke around in those dark corners of the psyche and discover what it is we wish to free ourselves of and do the necessary work on ourselves to achieve just that. Hibernation is rest… and self reflection while we make time for that, to honour that urge to purge that comes over us at this time is something not to be shied away from. Bring those parts of self out of the shadows! For those parts we may not like to see in ourselves or others teach us more than anything else. Sit with these dark corners, be fearless about truly being the witness, become the observer …and the answers will come clear to how we process “What do I do with this now I am aware of my flaw?”

It is a great time to heal old wounds, to be clear in our communications, making sure we take responsibility for being heard more clearly than ever in our dealings with others. This time of year can be fraught with miscommunication, so its more important than ever to be mindful in how we speak and especially in how we listen to others. Are we hearing rudeness, thoughtlessness? Or pain? Are we listening through our own filter? Take a beat to consider what may be affecting someone before reacting. Where possible, be kind rather than right… Yet of course, if someone is an outright asshole for no good reason at all, they may need a reality check! Just don’t burn any bridges this particular festive season unless you are truly, 100% done with second chances.

I’ve also been reminded of the great healing power of surrendering to “what is” in the past couple of weeks. This year has provided challenges, achievements and joys in equal measure, but in November I got too wrapped up in the need to be “doing” – I  often do this, I feel great, have a rush of creativity and ideas and neeeeeed to implement them allatonce…  wheeeeee….
I .Do.Not.Need.To.Do.Everything.Now.
And so, in the midst of this creative roll, even though I was still yoga-ing and taking care of my nutrition and so on, I temporarily forgot to just Be. The physical self rebelled, and some gastric git of a bug got in and I had no choice but to Be. For a week.

At first, the unpleasant painful symptoms and horrible sensitivity to light sources of all kinds rendered me sleepy and unable to work even from my bed if I wanted to. So I had no choice but to close my eyes, breathe and be present with What Is.

Yes,  I experienced pain, frustration, annoyance. Then I just  went with it, surrendered to the enforced rest and found solace and comfort in it.. For a few days I didn’t even care if I knew what time of day it was when I woke from a nap.If I couldn’t eat, I’d get my nutrition in a few mouthfuls of smoothie and go back to sleep. So be it.  And within that, I found such a peace, that this too would pass but in the meantime, I would just exist and be present with whatever I was experiencing, painful, good bad or indifferent.

I am well again now, and I look and feel rested. Not like I’ve been ill at all. My skin is better than ever, my joints are less painful. I am in a place of zero fucks given about what I “should” be doing. I’m happy in my work. I am entirely at peace with whatever arises moment to moment even if it is challenging. It passes. I’m super present with the changing light on the trees and fields outside, the hooting of our resident owl who likes to whit whoo down our chimney at dusk (and 3am for some bonkers reason!)

Who knew that surrender and being present even with the icky stuff could be so good.

Whatever this season brings, please release yourself from the pressure to be what is expected of you. You can only be who you are in this moment. I wish you the ability to experience gratitude and joy, no matter how big or small, without tying yourself up in knots of anxiety or pressure.

Take a breath, check in with yourself and just experience What Is.
The darkest night precedes the return of the light…

Lots of love and Yuletide Blessings!